The moment you feel irritated and resentful about your work tasks, it is usually because one or many of your boundaries have been crossed.
Setting clear boundaries is key to burnout prevention.
Who defines the line that should not be crossed, and at what point the dynamic becomes harmful to our health, is us. Now, this issue of boundaries is something we know intuitively but for some reason, we don't define them clearly.
So what needs to be looked at squarely here is why we have not set limits before:
How do you feel when you have to set a limit?
- Do you feel guilty, vulnerable?
- Are you afraid of the response from your co-workers-clients-superiors?
Why?
In most cases, the answer has to do with fears. Sometimes rational, sometimes irrational.
What message are we giving ourselves when we act or fail to act out of fear of the opinion/response/reaction of others?
Whenever we change what we feel we should do: when we want to say no, but we say "yes" because of what they might think, for example, we are putting the other person on a pedestal. In other words, we are putting ourselves in an "inferior" position. We want them to like what we say/do because we value their approval more than our own.
That is the unconscious message we give each other every time we do it.
When you feel it is happening to you, facing the fear of the response (which most of the time is much more positive than the one we have in mind) is the best thing to do.
They will respect and value us to the extent that we do so first.
A very simple way to get rid of fear is to think when it is another person setting a limit for us. What would be our response? Simply to respect it, and consequently to respect the person as well. This is what happens in others when we do this.
On the other hand, the message you give yourself unconsciously is a message of appreciation and appreciation for you and how you feel.
Doing so feeds back into the image we want to have of ourselves.
To begin to know the root of our fears and insecurities and have the ability to face them, fill out the form on our Program We Take Care of You and request a session with a therapist or coach, they will take you by the hand in this important process of self-knowledge.
