The moment you feel irritated and resentful about your work tasks is usually because one or more of your boundaries have been crossed.
Setting clear boundaries is key to preventing burnout.
We are the ones who define the line that should not be crossed, and at what point the dynamic becomes harmful to our health. Now, this issue of boundaries is something we know intuitively, but for some reason, we do not define them clearly.
So, what we need to look at here is the reason why we haven't set limits before:
How do you feel when you have to set a limit?
- Do you feel guilty, vulnerable?
- Are you afraid of the reaction of your coworkers, clients, or superiors?
Why?
In most cases, the answer has to do with fears. Sometimes rational, sometimes irrational.
What message are we sending ourselves when we act or fail to act out of fear of others' opinions/responses/reactions?
Whenever we change what we feel we should do: when we want to say no, but we say "yes" because of what others might think, for example, we are putting the other person on a pedestal. In other words, we are putting ourselves in an "inferior" position. We want what we say/do to please them because we value their approval more than our own.
That is the unconscious message we give ourselves every time we do it.
When you feel this happening to you, facing the fear of the response (which is usually much more positive than what we have in mind) is the best thing we can do.
They will respect and value us to the extent that we do so first.
A very simple way to make fear disappear is to think about what we would do if someone else set a limit for us. What would our response be? We would simply respect it, and consequently respect the person as well. This is what happens to others when we do this.
On the other hand, the message you unconsciously give yourself is one of value and appreciation for yourself and what you feel.
Doing this reinforces the image we want to have of ourselves.
To begin understanding the root of our fears and insecurities and gain the ability to face them, complete the form for our program. We care for you and request a session with a therapist or coach, who will guide you through this important process of self-discovery.
